Staying up all night,it kept me wondering.What my mum said was kinda correct.Somehow I avoid being close with her.And I thought bout it,I guess I go the answer. Labels: Thinking too much..
Somehow,I'm afraid of what she say.She keeps naggin about me goin out and all,and the more she nags,the more I go out,hang out till late at night.Maybe becoz she nags at me and notice me,but most of all,the reason is becoz staying at home is just plain boring.And every single time I'm free,she'll make me be busy.Running errands for her,sending stuff,goin shops,the usual stuff.Since I'm in primary skewl,I kept doing all those stuff,and I guess I had enough.I don't want to stay home and rot,I too want to go out and hang out with my friends,just have fun.
I guess its too much now.Seems like I keep goin out every single day.But I can't help it,theres nothing to do at home.Even when she's at home,I'll be staying in my room,mind ing my own business.Doing the usual stuff,just staring at the comp and wasting my time.Haiz,sorry mom,but thats the way I am.I'm not good at socializing,even with you,its kinda hard for me to open up.There are many things you wouldn't understand coz you're still stuck with the thinking that I can't take care of myself.
And so I think again.Why do I fall in love with the wrong people? Ayus asked me this question: What type of girlfriend do I want?
Honestly,I just want someone that loves me for who I am.Someone that I can spoil,and just pamper yet not step over my head.As usual,the 3 charecteristic must be there. Loving,Understanding and Caring.And somehow,looking at my past,its hard to get that type of person. Now that I fell for someone,I don't really know whether it will happen. Maybe coz I'm afraid that history would repeat again and again. I don't want to be the type thats just flirt around without having someone that I really love and care for.Yes,I admit,I do flirt around,but when it comes to that particular person,things are different.There are variables that I need to think about. I don't really know how to explain it.Its just with this particular person,I'm all nervous and afraid to talk to her. Maybe coz I fall in love again and it kinda hurts me that she don't notice.Its depressing realli.My life is just too pathetic.
Haiz..
Eddy Outs..