Heyz...juz got back home and kinda bored..So here's an update..
Uncle went back alrdy..Heading to Indonesia,wishing he would reach there safely..Insyallah..Wasted didnt get the chance to say bubbye..Haiz..
Anyways,daddy seems to be in good mood..He toping up my ppd for me..Dunnoe hw come good mood,but gd la..I guess..Seems like everything turning out fine..Yet,still feel cold inside..Nothing seems to make me feel happy,excluding chattin with u bucket..Hahakz
Somehow,feelings are mixed up..There's juz too many things bottled up inside,and I can't let it out..Somehow this bottle is gonna overflow very soon..Even when I'm with my frends,brothers,smilling and all..But loneliness comes when I'm alone..There's juz seems to be something missing..Cold and damp..Haiz..
Anyways,tmr gonna go buy stuff..Going Peninsula to get my shirts and jeans..Maybe gonna go with Black and Marjuk..But Somehw I feel that gonna go alone..Den maybe gonna meet up with HS frends,oh hw i miz them,to breakfast together..Somehow my life rite now is full of MAYBEs..Dun ask me y,somehow taking my time to get my feet back on the ground is juz taking too long..
Life juz aint fair,and I have to accept it..
So cold this heart has become no matter what I do..
Bottling up everything like there's no ending..
Happiness juz doesn't occur,loneliness settling in too..
Juz part of a lyric i made..Haiz..
Eddy Outs..
Back to square 1,Bottling
Heyz..Juz got back..So update a bit..I tink..Friday, September 28, 2007
Haiz..Been moodless for the pass hours,or even days..Dunnoe la..Truth is,I dunnoe wats goin on ryte now..All is in a mess..Had a talking session,and everything juz came out..Trust can't be seen anymore..Sometymes there are juz things u can't accept for the moment..Let time pass,and sure,maybe you can accept it..But for trust,it juz takes time,and a very long one i might add,coz it juz doesn't come and go..It needs to be earned..Somehow a simple mistake can make someone lose the trust to a certain person..
Frankly,its not about being positive or negative thinker,to be honest,I trust someone very well,no nid to mention name,and yes I'm a negative thinker..I admit it..Nvm,forget bout it..
My Confessions:
I trust ppl easily,but once that person lose my trust,its juz hard for me to trust that person back..And there are juz many things that i can't blurt out,i'm the type of person whereby things are juz bottled up..No matter wat it is..good or bad..And ryte now,there are things in my mind that gives me a heartless heart..Sorry if those things I say juz hurts anyone..These are my confessions..And my feelings juz doesn't change easily..Haiz..
Eddy Outs..
Moodless..
Heyz...Juz a little lonely,no one to chat with..So update tiz crap...Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Haiz..How small things can turn out to be tiz way..Can't accept the fact tat it happened..Can't turn back time,and time can't heal all this..Love juz sucks doesn't it..Sacrifices,tears,smiles,happiness..Its all juz for the moment..After all that is over,you'll juz end up with nothing but memories which will be gone within the minute..The feeling won't last,not in a long run..Then the moment comes where u fight,and fight,and juz ends up hurting urself...No matter in wat way,cuttin ur bloody hand,punching the mirror till ur knuckles break,cry till u sleep..Its all for nothing..Love is juz a four letter word..But somehow it heals and hurts a lot..Surely many say it will bring happiness,especially those who have "true-love"..
What is it anyways? Wat is true love? U can't juz wait for it to come,eventually u have to work it out yourself..And surely you'll hurt yourself..Haiz
How sucky is this? Seeing couples in every place I walk,and I wonder,what is it that make them last...Patience? Trust? And it makes me wonder about myself,surely i have patience (not braggin or wat)..Trust? Yea maybe...But hw come it all ends up with me being hurt? why does it ends up with tears and pain?
Bah..Forget it..It juz sucks..
Eddy Outs..
Tears,Pain,Red eyes...
Heyz...Ryte now no mood..Juz update coz wanna keep myself busy...
Can't believe tis is happening..Hw much futher would you go to hurt me? Isn't the distance between us enough? Isnt't the silence fone enough?? And now with him? Haiz,shuld have known from the start..We won't survive this..I guess its true,should have followed my heart..Should have listen,should have followed,but no..I'm too stuborn..And,guess wat,it all ends up with me getting hurt...
What the hell did I do wrong dammit? Went out with him? After all those things you said,after all this while can't you f***ing understand hw I feel?? For god's sake,even a dumb blonde can know through the voice if the person is happy or nt...Forget it..
Eddy Outs..
Broken into million pieces,Pissed....Enuf said..
My Immortal-EvanesceneMonday, September 24, 2007
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[CHORUS:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase-
[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
[Chorus]
And if it all turns out to be thiz way..It doesnt matter..I dunnoe what will happen,somehow we're now worlds apart..Haiz..I have nothing much more to say..Let it be..
Eddy Outs..
Emo kidd is back in business...Quite happy coz of someone,Thankful to Uncle!!
Heyz..Back again..Nothing much to do,so update lor..Anyways,someone abandon me sia..Sadded..Suddenly offline ryte bucket..HahakzSunday, September 23, 2007
Since waiting to play Dota with bro and his frend,might as well take the time to update..Hmm
Nothing much happened,juz played games on and off..Anyone can recommend me any cool online games? Most of the fames I played are getting boring..haiz..Feel like eating donut..Lucky mom bought some juz knw..woots!
Bah..Nw dunnoe what to write also..Most probably cant sleep till 3 or 4 again..Feel so pathetic when theres no skewl..Juz seems like theres no life..Wake up,game,sleep..Tats all I do since its fasting month..haha..So gonna grow fat..Lucky still got time to train up to burn all the fats..hahaha..o well,nothing much to update anyways..
Eddy Outs..
Boreded,Sadded,Hungry,Emo Mode for now
Heyz..Back again..Since got nothing to do except chat with Basket,so might as well multitask and update..hahakz..Nothing much happened today..Except those nephews I hate came to break fast here..Den so many ppl..Lucky Ah Khai was around to hang out with..Or else I follow my bro go Popeye's chicken..hahakzSaturday, September 22, 2007
Juz now woke up around 1230..Hahakz..Slept at 3+ for the past 8 days mah..So wat to do..Woke up and online coz got nothing better to do..Haha..Chat with Basket for the whole day before abandoning her to play DoTA with Hirzi..hahakz..Sry la Basket,promise won't dota when chating with u..
Basically juz DoTA-ed the whole day..So bored la..Den cuzzies come and break fast..Den juz hang out with Ah Khai..They went home around 930 like tat..Come to eat,den went off juz like tat..O well,dun wanna care...Boreded!!! Gonna DoTA again later..Haha..Wait for my Popeye chix..den eat again!! Wee!!!
Eddy Outs
Boreded,Quite Happy,Not Emoing For A While
Heyz..Back again..So bored!!! Fasting mth start last thursday and I'm so bored coz got nothing to do..Hahakz..Since got nothing to do might as well update thiz junk ryte..heheTuesday, September 18, 2007
Hmm,ferst of all,attachments are done! Had fun and gonna miz those crazy2 staff..Especially cuzzie..Plus,my group was great..Except a few times where some of them pisses me of..But thats normal..hahakz..Plus most of them went Bangkok already..Hopefully they return safely..The teachers nvr return also nvm..Hehe..Joke2!
1 month of holiday and there's nothing to do except DoTA and online games..Luckily at nite got some activities and can lepaks with Black and the rest..
Hmm,talking bout nite,my body system is getting weird..Every afternoon sleepy,but when it comes to nite time I feel wide awake and continue DoTA till Sahur time...hahakz..So basically I sleep around 4 or 5 like tat..Wake up depending on the weather,if cold means wake up very late,if hot means wake up like around 11..Sianz..hahakz..Den the cycle continues..And by the tyme it comes to Hari Raya I tink I can't wake up go skewl sia..
O well,got nothing much to write la..Juz wanna say to all those who are fasting nt to skip,if wanna skip dun forget me k..hehe
Yea,and I miz you guys in skewl!!! Can't wait for skewl...hahakz
Eddy Outs!
Honestly,there's juz something bothering me bout you...I dunnoe what,why,when,where,who and how...Ok,the who part I know,but the rest...Haiz..It was since a few days ago..Ryte after the last tyme we met..And ytd,juz got into a fight..Wats wrong baby? Not even a call juz to say you're busy or sumting..And the worse part is,you told me you didn't know what you did wrong...HaizThursday, September 13, 2007
I seriously dunnoe what to say..I know its juz a small thing but you can't expect me to do what you say when you yourself dun do it..O well,I understand if your batt flat and all,but juz 1 msg also take a lot of time meh...Nvm,its over already..Whats going on with us...Haiz..
Weird stuff happens you know..And I'm juz afraid..Coz most of my relationship juz ends when its reaching the 2nd month..And I dun want that to happen..I dun wanna lose you at all..Not now,not ever..Yes,I'm afraid that I might lose you,maybe to someone I know..Maybe to a complete stranger..Tell me you won't leave baby,please..
Eddy Outs...
Moodless,Afraid,Tired
Heyz...Since today no work so update la..Nth much happened,woke up happy2..But den so freaking bored sia..Lucky Arina msg me,saying that she wanna hang out..So agree with hre and ask her come to Marsiling Mrt..Baby called den talked for a while..Whole morning was waiting for her to call..hehe..So happy la when she calledSaturday, September 8, 2007
Ard 2 like that went out to meet Arina..Headed towards 115 coz thought Black was there..In the end go there got noone..Finally around 3 Joe came down and hang out with us..Waited and waited for Black tat in the end we played Crocodile and Blind Mice..So pathetic sia..Den around 5 ask Arina if she wanna accompany me go meet Baby..Headed to Annur Mosque and waited for Baby..
Abou 520pm Baby came out and we headed to POSB coz she wanna put in the money I gave to pay HSA..Haha..Den saw something,which is seriously a small thing but dunnoe why,I lost my mood..Den headed back to her place and Arina went home..Sat for a while and kinda talked..I think..Moodless la..Den headed back home..She juz now called..Talked for a while only coz the fone is in her hall,so no privacy...Thats wat she says anyways..hahakz
O well,at least tmr gonna meet her..Now kinda moodless coz been a while since we talked on the fone..Coz the only tyme I can tell something bout my feelings is through the fone,and I hope she understand why I kinda pissed juz now..
Eddy Outs..
Moodles,Tired,Red Eye,Bored!
Heyz..Been a while since I updated..Since now got some time before I totally fall asleep,might as well update a short 1 arh...Been busy with attachments and resting till no time to online also...hahakz..Sian arh..Thursday, September 6, 2007
Hmm,attachment is okay..Swee2 kena same ward with my cousin who work there as a staff nurse..Den evrytime also slack during afternoon shift coz nothing to do,except takin para and feeding..So sianz...But den got a lot of new things I learned and did that wasn't taught at skewl..so yea,its fun..Plus got hot chicks sia..hahakz
(Baby,dun jealous k...Hehe)
Most of the time juz walk from one cubicle to another juz for passing the time..Den ask ppl whether got anything to do or nt,coz its bloody boring and long when u dun do anything..Den if swee2 morning shift time flies very the fast sia..Hahakz..Summore at least can meet Baby..:D
Today was ok la,been sick since ytd..Flu and all,but now seems better..Had morning shift so it was fast..hahakz..But all busted me,they went for break and left me and a gurl to take care of the patients...Since the gurl's ward got 3 cubicle also,we were in charge of 18 patients for 1 hour..I'm like wtf sia,can at least split up for lunch wat..Haiz
So in the end had lunch alone..But lucky cuzzie was there..So had lunch with her at tearoom and talked for 1 hour..hahakz..Funny sia,got 1 patient kesiao2 go out the ward after lunch and den go down to Kopitiam to buy food..Me and cuzzie was like lookin at each other and asking hw the hell he got out?? Cuzzie always look at me one kind when on duty coz i call her Staff Nurse..hahahahahaha..Purposely one mah..haha
Monday disturb her again,coz tmr she off..Sadded
After attachies went to meet Baby at Bedok..Den hw ironically that we had lunch at Novena..Haha..Nvm,Baby so cute today...Den headed to Woodlands coz I was sick..Sadded,den talked2..Kiss her and headed back home..Suspect now she sleepin liao..Tmr after attachment muz go for last min Silat session coz last day liao,den fasting mth..Sadded..But nvm,tmr can meet Baby again..Hehe
Guess thats it..
Eddy Out..
Tired,Red Eyed,Eye Bagged,Sleepy,Happy