Back again after a loong time...I knw ryte..Been busy with stuff you knw...Raya and all,plus sch is kinda hectic..Don't even have time to hang out much nwadays..Its like,sch,hang out durin break,sch again,den go home when sch ends..Things seems to change in sch...Many of the slackers seems to be missing,either too busy with their classes,or juz dun wanna hang out anymore...Haiz
Things seems to change around me too..She said I changed,even Arina said so in her blog..I dunnoe,but I guess I did change a bit..Everythings seems to me needs to be taken seriously although the joker in me is still alive..Especially in a relationship..I dun understand whats wrong with me...I can't even understand myself..Somethings are juz meant not be told,but seems to me,till when shall I juz keep tiz feeling,tiz anger,tiz frustration..Haiz
Relationship seems to be goin on smoothly for the moment,juz a bit of fights here and there..Somehow I juz don't understand which is more important to her..Is it her work? Is it her sch frends? Or is it me? If work is more important den its fine by me..Juz dun expect me to be there often..I'll juz disappear from whatever is left off of us..Somehow evrything is ending with a sigh...Every single thing juz doesn't seem to be fine with me...
I smile,I laugh,I joke..But deep inside,I dun understand one single shit thats been goin on..Dunnoe what I'm doin is the right thing..Better yet,I dun even know what the fuck i'm doin...It bothers me..Whats the purpose of all this? What am I goin through ryte now? Somebody HEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!
Eddy Outs..
Even worse than before...
Yea...Sch started as usual...Have quite an ok timetable though..Monday finishing at6,Tuesday at4,Wed at 11,Thurs at 6 and Fri at 12..Hahakz..Yea,2 slacking days is quite enough I guess...Nothing much to talk about sch,but the slacking sessions are quite fun..Especially without someone who keep attracting attention..Sheesh...Saturday, October 20, 2007
Relationship wise,I dunnoe...Seems better than last time..But for once,I juz want her not to be busy every single day...It sucks aite...Even when we have plans,we have to cancel coz she got to go work or training..I'm like WTF sia...In the back of my mind,if work is more important to you,den so be it..Leave me and enjoy your work life..Haiz..
Frends wise,many out there...Been hanging out with Anand,Mahathir,Rudy and Zee quite a lot lately..Other than that nothing much...Too lazy to update actually...Haiz...Sometimes when I tink about it,who are your true frends? Which of your so-called frends will have your back every single day without fail? And I wonder,how can we trust someone 100% when we hardly knw about them...Hmmmm...
Eddy Outs..
Confused,Tired,Sick of having this feelings...
Fuck la...Fuck the festive season..Sheesh..Nothing turns out right..Evrything juz turn fucked up..And I thought Hari Raya was a day where family members get together,but sheesh,this sucks..Seems to me it turn out to be a Stay Home Saturday piece of shit..ArghhH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pissed off sia...Why the fuck turn out to be this way??Saturday, October 13, 2007
Tmr 8th mth aniversary and guess wat,I can't fucking meet her...Oh yea,and the last time we met,we got into another fight...FUCK! These things are getting on my nerves..Evry single day something bad juz ruins my mood...Forget all this crap la..Better off if I'm dead anyways...Rather rest in peace den suffer during life..Stab me now,juz fucking kill me!
Eddy Outs..
Pissed off,Sad,A little heart broken....
Haiz..Been busy tiz few days..With Hari Raya coming,many things need to be done..Cleaning up of things,baking and all..Dunnoe why,but somehow no mood for festive season tiz year...Too many craps goin on in my life...From one problem comes another fucking problem...Haiz..Thursday, October 11, 2007
Its all fucked up la..My relationship is getting from bad to worse and somehow it seems to be my fault..She's busy working and I'm gonna start skewl soon..Seems to me like I'm becoming single again..Haiz..Whats the point of this relationship if all we gonna do is talk on the fone for a few mins..And honestly,I'm trying to trust you but with this problem of seldom meeting each other,its giving me a hard time aight..And I'm sorie if somehow I'm always pissed off..Juz hope you understand...
Fuck,2nd problem...Somehow my dad is giving me a hard time..Who the fuck give their son 50 bucks to buy shoes?? Sheesh,and every single day he would come home and juz shout to me randomly..There's juz something in his eyes thats not fucking ryte..What the fuck should I care with cleaning my room? Sch is starting soon and its still gonna be a mess coz of all the books..If you're saying I'm fucking selfish,how the fuck about you?! Juz for a 70 bucks shoes you wanna yell...Where the fuck can you find a cheap,yet nice shoes??? ARGGHH!!!!
I wish you're beside me now..I juz wanna hold you tight..Hug me and dun let me go..Please..
Eddy Outs..
Missing her...
I got nothing more to say..Hw could you do that to me? After all this while I trusted you,after all the stuff we did together..And this is the way u repay me? What wrong did i do to u? Ape dose smpi sanggup u buat gini...Ape salah i..Why me? No tears can turn back time..Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Hati da hancur kerane satu perbuatan.Isn't it enough that you lied,and now this? I wondered whether all thos things u said actually mean something..If this is hw you want it to be..Go ahead..There's nothing more that i can say..Not after all this..Hw dumb was i...To think that we could last...To think that it was all in my mind..Even after all those things I've said..All the signs,it juz means nothing to u..I dun mean shit to u..I'm juz another guy who u treat as a toy arent i? Used when needed,thrown when ur done..
I can't think,I can talk..My heart is alrdy a rock now..Now that you're gone,the world juz doesn't matte anymore..Leave me be..Let me die in own death..Dun bother running back,not after all that you've done..It juz doesnt ends here..Misery is all I feel...Scrap any thoughts that you could say,throw it down the window..
Even better,juz throw me out the window..Its where I belong now..These wounds won't heal,might as well bring it to hell...
Heyz...Ytd didn't update,so update today...Monday, October 1, 2007
Hmm,woke up at ard 11+ and juz went online..Nothing much to do,so called Black and Marjuk to confirm about goin Peninsula..In the end,Marjuk had to go skewl so Black and Tarmimie accompanied me instead..While online,chatted with Roxanne and she wanted to go out too,so we went out together..She headed Admiralty though..
So yea,around 2 juz headed to Penin,Black was late as usual..Reached there about 330 or so,went to Black Haven and bought 1 shirt and a jacket like shirt..Kinda cool..Yea,all black tho..Hahakz..Walked around for a bit,bought a jean..Nothing better to do we headed to Suntec City and juz walked and talked like crazy ppl..It was fun actually..Played timezone and Ayu joined us! Woots..There the craziness went up to another level..hahakz
We headed to Marina Square to break fast at Cavana..Before heading to Suntec,Black kinda disturbed the cashier..So he like paisey2..Hahahaha..Funny sia..After break fast we bought some cookies at Famous Amos..Ate it and wow,feels like heaven..hahakz
Ayu brought us to a place and the view is damn great! If only there were chairs,but hey,it was worth it man..We took pictures after pictures,and Ayu is a great photographer! All the pics she took we very cool sia...Hahakz
And yea,thought I was kinda back to myself..But somehow when walked alone,still feel like there's something missing..I dunnoe why it juz feels that way...But it didn't ruin my day tho..Juz some ppl kinda ruin it..Haiz..O well,it was fun while it lasted! And I wanna thanks Black,Ayu and Tarmimie for making it fun yesterday!
O crap,nearly tyme to start to get ready...Need to go to NP to send some stuff..Plus wanna check whether can make new Student ID or nt..Haiz
Eddy Outs..
Sleepy,Had fun,Sian...